My Last Breath
by Nicole Lo
Summary: Bonnie's going to die... and Damon's going to be the one to kill her. Seven-shot R/R  rated between T and M
1. Fleeting Moment

**Fleeting Moment**

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><p>Red. Blue. Yellow. Purple. Red. The colors of the fire are infinite. They're growing and winning. Even with calling upon the powers of my ancestors, I know that something fated is sealed. It cannot be changed. After all, we are only human. Grams taught me that.<p>

And even though I know this, I still keep trying. The flames intensify. When I feel its heat start to peel back my skin, threatening to whip through my flesh, I start to let the idea in.

I am going to die. Dying. Dead. Up in flames.

Up until I felt the first flicker of heat touch my body, I had been able to ignore the sticky thickness in the air, the smoke.

I moved back a few more paces until I hit the wall behind me. Sliding to the ground, I pull my knees into my chest, realizing just how wounded I really am. One broken rib, maybe two? I guess this is my karma, my punishment for lying to Elena and almost killing two …half-dead souls in the process. In a way, I deserved this.

It's said that when you're about to die, when you're on the brink of death, your past flashes before your eyes. That doesn't happen.

My future flashed before me. I saw all the things that I would never get to do—go to college, fall in love, reunitewith Elena—I closed my eyes and shut the images out and hung my head in silent prayer. Now was the time to pray, beg for a swift death and for an eternity of—the thought leaves me.

Just as the sobs started and I could feel my breathing grow fainter and weaker, the scene before me was whisked away and I could see the sky, the grass. I could breathe again. I was… outside?

I am pulled back from the reality of an excruciating death to … a scene that looks mostly familiar. Behind the veil of my uneven bangs, I raise my head to see whose arms were cupping my body.

Vampire.

No, worse.

Damon.

My immediate reaction is to set him afire with my mind, but I am much to spent and … he saved me. I eye Damon curiously, who moves as though I weight no more than a newborn. In a few seconds he looks at me, his eyes implacable, glued to mine.

… And his body flowing along the ground as though he were flying.

It felt like he was carrying me for an eternity before he asked,"Are you okay?"

I looked for a bit of sarcasm, cynicism, sexual undertones … anything that would make me hate him. There is none.

I opened my mouth, and then closed it, knowing that I had lost the ability to make any sort of sound. I was dumbfounded that the vampire that had once tried to kill me, that I had hoped would be staked, was the one who had saved me. It was a little sickening.

I lowered my eyes, ashamed of the thoughts that are bubbling through my mind. Damon places me on my feet and when I stumble, he's there.

When I don't react, he moved in closer to me and starts touching my body, no … searching. He's looking for something.

"You're hurt?" Damon wondered, brushing my hair back to get a good look at my face. He notes the broken rids, the bruises on my back, unaware of the real reason that my knees buckle. I try not to look at Damon and wait for him to say something, anything to stop the niceness.

I needed to hate him again.

"You have a cut…" He continue, placing his hands on either side of my face and then brushing away my bands. _It just feels so good_. _Cool hands, smooth skin. _

As I am thinking all kinds of inappropriate things, Damon seems to move even closer. By now his lips are just so close…

Even if I stayed put, if I just moved my tongue out there a little … it would touch his mouth. Even if I just decided to lick my lips…

I'm staring at him wondering if I've given myself away. _Does he know what I'm thinking? How I really feel about him? _

Is it that I've been hiding all of my feelings for him behind the mask of hate? _I don't care_.

As if he could predict everything I was going to do, Damon's mouth cupped mine, our tongues meeting instantly. I had never felt anything that powerful in my life. The coolness of his skin against mine, and the feel of his hands grazing the sides of my face.

I hold me closer to me. _Please don't go. _

If Damon is surprised, he doesn't show it at all. But he does hold me carefully. We embrace so long that I can barely breathe. I curse my humanness. _Don't let go_.

I am greedy. Regretfully, I pause for a moment and then rub his lips with mine. Softly.

Damon seems to be daring me to do it again, his left hand sliding down the side of my body and stopping where my waist meets my hips.

His hand rests comfortably over my skin, my shirt no longer separating us. _Beyond amazing. _

All of the repressed feelings that I'd had for him came to her surface and I felt that somehow my life had been renewed. I look down again with a small smile and Damon lifts my chin, forcing me to look at him. _Kiss me again_.

He does. And it is even more powerful than before. _Don't hold back_.

"Bonnie!" A distant voice yelled out. It'd been going on for a while … just long enough to tear Damon apart from me, just long enough for him to disappear into the shadows. "Bonnie!" _Elena_.

"Elena?" I turn slightly, not wanting to leave that memory with Damon behind. But he's gone. "What are you doing here?" I asked, surprised.

"I'm so glad you're okay." She tugged onto me so tightly that I couldn't even move. "Thank God you're not dead."

"Yeah. Thank God." I repeated slowly, wondering if he was still out there … watching. I thought that I could feel him, but I wasn't quite sure. _Are you there?_

Elena wraps her hand around me and helps me walk back to her car. Stefan is waiting. Damon is still watching. _I hope_.

As we drive further and further away I know that it's over. It was just a moment of stupidity. _It can't last_.

I've never felt anything like that before and it runs through my mind. Elena tries to strike up a conversation, but my mind is focused on Damon. I secretly wish that she had never found me. That moment was cut down, make too short. _Fleeting. _

I didn't get a chance to see … to try … to say … _I may love him. Damn.  
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><p>(AN: My first and maybe only Bonnie-Damon pairing. Hope you liked it. Review. I'm continuing this in another story _Boys with Girlfriends _but I've only gotten to the 2nd chapter. Let me know what you think! Luv. -NL)


	2. One More Time

**One More Time**

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><p><strong>(AN: For more, help me with where to take this next ... and review. -NL) **

Old. Dark. Gray. Haunted. Death. That's all I saw at the Salvatore house. And no matter how much I tried to push back the nagging feelings, the tugging at my skin that begged me to turn in the other way, I had to walk in. I'd made a promise. _Focus. _

I was here to see Elena. _Go_.

Elena who insisted on living here so that no one could hurt the Salvatore brothers. _Going now. _

My body seemed to move of its own accord, making it to the front door and pushing it open boldly. "Elena!" I called out trying to see if she was here. We had plans for a Girls Day Out, one of our futile attempts at being normal again.

It was strange to be in this old house, filled with so many memories. The energy was so thick, it nearly suffocated me. And I was sure that Damon was here.

"Elena, come on!" I yelled as if I were entering a dark, endless cave trying to get my friend to come to the light before it was too late.

There was no response, nothing that signaled any sign of life except …. a host of giggles and uproar that caught my attention. Maybe she was watching T.V. and didn't hear me? As I got closer it sounded much more live … because it wasn't the T.V.

The door was slightly cracked open when my eyes feel upon the sight of two girls. Two girls and Damon. _Don't watch_.

But I was submissive to it and my feet were planted where they were. I only moved to crouch down some when I thought I'd been discovered. I watched Damon touch and kiss and flirt with these girls openly. As his mouth touched theirs, I wished and imagined that it was me. _Again. _

Then, I started to judge my beauty up against theirs. _They win_.

Had it not been for the thing I saw next, more clothing being removed until the trio was left with just their underwear on, I felt hot liquid boil in my throat. I had to let it out. _Run_.

But I couldn't , not until Damon stared at me as he pierced the girl's naked flesh with his sharp fangs. I felt sick and embarrassed for being caught. And then I felt fear.

Even though it had only been a few weeks since the near-death-incident and my body was still in recovery, I ran as fast as I could down the stairs. When I missed the next step, I prepared myself for a hard fall, reaching for something to stabilize me.

"You should be more careful." Damon's sarcastic voice whispered into my ear as he caught me, just in time. I started to feel weak and helpless like I did during the fire, feeling like we were reliving that moment again.

"I was looking for Elena." I managed to get out, unable to disguise my heavy breathing even with a calm, even voice.

"And you found my bedroom instead. Funny how that all worked out. But you're welcome there, _any _time." I narrowed my eyes as he said this. There it was. Here was the Damon that I hated. One more comment and I wouldn't be able to control the fire from within.

"You can put me down now." I demanded. "Ass." I whispered under my breath when he didn't do so immediately.

Damon smirked. "Stalker." He whispered back playfully, stroking my hair. _Damn it. _

"I'll wait for Elena in the car." He placed me on the ground carefully, still using one of his arms to support my weight.

"What about your … leg?" He pointed at it. "You're hurt. Again." Damon clinched his jaw together as though he were thinking about the same thing that I was. The fire. The rescue. The earth-shattering kiss.

"I wouldn't want you to get the idea that it's okay to kiss me again, so I'll manage." I turned my back to him and pressed my lips together, urging them to stop burning. I could imagine his cool body—_Stop it. _

"But you _liked _it." Damon responded in his sickeningly accurate way. Was he reading my mind or something?

"Damon, I want nothing to do with you. I barely even remember what happened." I turned around, adrenaline pumping. "And just so you know … You are a murderous, sick monster and there's nothing that you have that I need. So please … just stay out of my way."

"Have it your way." Damon brushed past me as though he wasn't fazed at all by my insults. And he might not have been. If he felt the way I did about that kiss, then he would care, but I was guessing that his aloofness meant that he didn't care? _Why should he_?

With a grunt of frustration, I tried to move towards the door, but found myself in more pain than before. I kept going until I felt hands on my waist, _cold _hands.

"What are you doing?"

"You'll never make it outside. Let me help-"

"No. I've got it." In pushing him off, I managed to tumble to the floor, hard. I shouldn't have left the crutches. When I looked up, instead of seeing a pompous face, there was concern. True, genuine emotion coming from Damon. "Don't make me ask for help." I sighed, giving in as I once again felt my body pressed against his cold chest. He carried me into the living room and placed me on the couch.

"Have you been resting?" He wondered, getting serious suddenly.

"It's just a little scratch. I'm not going to let that hold me back." I knew he was talking about the broken bones and bruises from the incident, but I was determined to keep living normally … and I didn't want to tip off my parent's radar.

"Do you want me to … see if everything's okay?" Damon asked me as I nodded and tried to ignore the fact that his hands were on my bare skin. The coolness almost burned, temporarily relieving me of any pain I was feeling before. When his hands moved, I was back to reality.

And then I exhaled deeply.

"Are you okay?"

"Why do you care?" I looked at him, keenly**.** How was I even remotely attracted to a guy that was about to have two women for lunch, _after _sleeping with them? What the hell was wrong with me?_ You're into him. _ "Damon…" I urged, wanting him to say the impossible.

"You haven't been to the doctor have you?" He wondered, tracing his hands around my still-raw burns. He started from my lower back but noticed that the burns went up to the top of my shoulder and right below my collar bone.

"It's fine." I hissed, but I didn't protest when the ends of my shirt went further and further into the air until it was no longer touching my body. Damon quickly scooped me up again and moved me to the kitchen counter where he could see me better.

"I'm going to take care of this, okay?" He warned me, sliding down the left side of my bra strap as I nodded. I could feel my heart rate pick up. _Stay calm. He's just being nice. It doesn't **mean **anything. _

"Can you … get to it?" I barely voiced. "You can … get the back." I offered, pulling my hair to the front of my shoulders to cover my breasts. My back felt free, but I was nervous, breathing intensely and I'm sure that he noticed.

"I won't hurt you." He promised, cleaning and wrapping bandages around my burn wounds, checking to see if my rib had healed well or not. I clutched my arms around my chest keeping my eyes lowered. I was ashamed. And suddenly, I no longer felt cold hands on my body. _It's over. _

I breathed a sigh of relief and looked up. Damon caught my gaze. And instinctively we were moving into each other, closer and closer. I could feel his cold flesh against my lips before it happened. And then I turned so that it wouldn't happen.

"I can't."

"Scared that I'll ruin your virtue or … whatever?"

"No. Last time it was inevitablebecause of the situation. You saved my life. If you kiss me now and I let you, it'll mean … something that I can't force myself to understand or believe in."

"Oh you want the lovey dovey high school sweetheart, true love waits kind of guy." Damon backed away seemingly unscarred, and back to making stupid little jokes about people's standards. "Or I'm not human enough for you?"

"No and Yes." I responded as Damon stopped to look at me as if I were changing my mind. It wasn't that. "He just has to be alive. And not an asshole. And not someone I hate, someone who my Grams _died _for. Someone so evil-" As I was off ranting on my list, Damon scooped me up, placing my legs on either side of him. I stopped speaking and he stole a kiss from me.

One long, stupid, meaningless kiss… at least that's what I'd tell myself when I thought about it later. _It's not that amazing_. Not to mention my bare, exposed back and the overwhelming intensity of it all. I wanted to have him forever in that moment. I wished that it was that simple, that I could forgive what he was and what he'd done.

"Don't kiss me again." I demanded, but my mouth found his and I pressed my naked breasts against his bare chest. In the midst of it all I didn't know how we both ended up topless, our skin inseparable. _Slut. _When I'd composed myself again, Damon spoke.

"I'm sorry about your Grams." He muttered, running his mouth down the side of my neck. Panic and fear rose in my chest. He was going to bite me. _Run_.

"No!" I yelled pushing him off with my thoughts, a power I never knew that I had until that moment.

As I shoved my hoodie back on, Elena and Stefan walked into the house joyfully.

"What's going on here?" Elena asked, noticing the clothes and the ground and that I had just slipped my other arm into the hoodie.

"I was waiting on you." I whispered simply, tears in my eyes that barely masked the fear. "Let's go."

"Bonnie." She called back at me as I kept walking, more like hobbling out of the house. It was painful, but I kept going. I couldn't stay in the room with him and not want to touch him.

"Damon?" Stefan looked to his brother for answers, but by then he had already run off.

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><p>(AN: Found it! I need your help on this one. I started posting under _Boys with Girlfriends_, but I'll just continue it here. I do have other Bonnie-centered stories there and _South of Nowhere _is centered on her. Luv. -NL)


	3. Come on, Let's Touch

**Come on, Let's Touch**

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><p>(AN: I couldn't wait to post this one ... but this chapter's a little different. **I'm so lost about what to do so I really need your help to keep this story alive. I have no idea what to do, but I pulled this out from the sky.** Read the whole thing before you flip it ... there was life before Damon Salvatore. Luv and review as always. –NL)

Disclaimer: I only own the way that this chapter was written and not the Vampire Diaries in any way, shape or form.

Warning: I'm rating this chapter between T and M so I don't get in trouble...

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><p>Soft. Warm. Predictable. Those were all the things that Tyler Lockwood was that Damon Salvatore was not. I'd convinced myself that it was okay to continue doing this, even though the near-death experience had changed me more than I cared to admit.<p>

But I was here, like we customarily did when I got lonely or when Tyler didn't have anyone else to choose from. It was pretty convenient like that, easy and the perfect way to get my mind off of Damon. _Only you can't stop thinking about him_.

I silenced that voice stealing another kiss from Tyler.

Tyler and I had done this plenty of times. I knew how to get in and out without his mother even knowing. He knew only to bring me over when she was busy.

"Are you sure you're up for this?" He wondered as I nodded, taking my shoes off first. It was becoming so relaxed and routine between us. I knew that he'd be undressed and waiting for me long before I'd even gotten out of this dress. And Tyler knew that I would have doubts, as usual.

"Let me help." Tyler offered, zipping down the back of my dress quickly, not slowly and passionately like I'd been dreaming that Damon would do.

"I'm not going anywhere." I joked as Tyler pulled me in for a long kiss. I was too sober for any of this. Too sober and too embarrassed that I'd let Damon get to me like that, in front of Elena too.

"You have a history of running out-"

"Not tonight." I promised, pulling Tyler onto the bed with me. It was either cry my heart out or do this and forget. I could forget. It was easy. _No you can't. _

I literally had to talk myself through this one and normally, when I'd be at the point of stifling my screams of enjoyment, I was forcing myself to feel something. Instead, I found myself faking it because even being on top of Tyler, I was still wishing that it was Damon that was under me.

We didn't talk about what had brought us both here, but Tyler knew my 'accident' had changed me a lot and I knew that he was hurting more over the death of his father, than he'd admit.

"I better get going soon." I turned away from him once I got the urge to start talking to him about something serious. It never worked out well between us. I remembered the time when Tyler and I were legitimately dating, middle school through early high school.

Everyone thought we'd be together until I had the pre—

"Do you have to leave? I mean you just-" I kissed him again with a smile.

"We both know how your mom is and I don't want her to walk in on us and mention that stupid 'mixed babies' thing." Tyler looked at me like he genuinely understood, and genuine wasn't the best word to describe him ever. I knew that look and where it was going. Tyler was starting to give me that look again, the same look I'd given him a few months ago when I started falling for him.

"Forget her. I want you." He enunciated each word, trying to be sexy. He didn't have to try. Guys with Tyler were just born with it. I felt his lips press against mine before I spoke again.

"I don't want a relationship." I uttered once I could breathe again. Tyler turned away from me and I could tell that he was pissed, as he should've been. "I shouldn't have come here. I'm sor-"

"Don't be. It's cool." Tyler shrugged, pulling on his boxers. "It's not like-"

"I'm sorry. Don't be mad at me." I reached for him. "Maybe, we should cool off for a while. Let our emotions die down.

"We tried to make it before and it didn't last." I rushed into the bathroom before he could mention it again. _The baby_.

My mind was on overdrive, flashing back some of the most painful moments in my life, when I thought it was over. Stupid me hadn't even waited until sixteen to get pregnant.

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><p>I bolted out of the Lockwood house, out the back, now wearing something completely different so that no one would know. Before the Damon thing, we had done this a lot. We'd had our little side relationship without anyone knowing before.<p>

And that's probably what Tyler thought was happening again, but I couldn't get over my encounter with Damon. I'd been avoiding Elena, Stefan, and any reminders of him but I could still feel the coolness of his chest pressed against mine, like it was happening right now.

The way he'd kissed me was life-altering, but I hated him so much, too much.

Yet there I was, en route to his place, not knowing if Elena was there or not. Not caring.

I walked to the front of the house steadily as best as I could, considering that I hadn't been resting enough to heal faster. It was exactly the same. I could feel the death that had surrounded this place, the history of pain. _But you're still addicted to it. _

Before I could get the key out of its hiding place, the door flew open and there he was.

"Is Elena home?" I asked instinctively trying to pretend that I hadn't noticed how attractive he looked today.

"No, she's not." Damon's eyes sparkled, almost as if he were lying.

"Good." I brushed past him and into the house. "Stefan's gone too?"

Damon nodded with a smirk. "Trying to pick up from where we left off last time?"

"No." I pressed my lips together, wondering what he would do if I ripped that too-tight black shirt off his back right now. My mind went to dark places as I imagined his hands going further and further down until they reached my- "I want to get our stories straight. I've been avoiding Elena, but she's going to ask what happened. I need you to say that you were helping clean my wounds or whatever. Don't give her any looks to suggest that anything more happened."

"But it did." Damon moved closer to me.

"A kiss doesn't mean a thing." I explained, pushing away the image I had earlier. The air was thickening and I knew that I had to get out of here, now. "I hate you." _You suck at lying. _

"And you finally came out of hiding to tell me this? That's it?" Damon wondered as I nodded, but I knew better. He brushed the back of his hand against my cheek as though he were going to do something to me, something I wanted. It was then that I could feel it again, that urge that was growing inside of me.

"Yeah. Don't tell Elena about this." I headed for the doorway, already congratulating myself for this. I didn't react to his touch. I hadn't kissed him although my lips were burning to. This was the first time that I'd been able to control myself around him since he 'saved' me.

"Does this mean you'll start coming back over here again?" Damon wondered, placing a hand on my arm to stop me.

"Not a chance." I lied easily.

"Then I'll find you." He promised, looking at me with a look that was eerily human. And it wasn't based on carnal desires … Damon seemed unadulterated by lust this time, which was terribly confusing. "Even if you keep trying to avoid me."

"Who's the stalker now?" I asked as he grinned like he had me. Did I just say that? I walked out of the house stiffly, not wanting him to know that I cared that he was still watching.

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><p>I had been concentrating so hard to pretend like I wasn't trying to watch Damon from the back of my head, that I'd barely noticed my slew of missed calls. All from Caroline. I sighed, knowing that I couldn't keep avoiding it.<p>

And avoiding her. She was a vampire now. Bye, bye humanity which was difficult for me to deal with. Between avoiding Elena to avoid Damon and avoiding Caroline because she was a vampire, which I hated _because _of Damon, I really didn't have anyone. I could always call up Tyler and we'd "kiss and make up" quickly, but I didn't want to go down that road again. I was feeling crazy guilty for what we'd done.

"Hey Caroline."

"Finally Bonnie. I thought someone had abducted you." She said in her normal high-pitched, erratic voice that was uniquely Caroline.

"No … I'm just adjusting."

"Me too … but we have plenty of time for that. I was calling to ask you something…" Within moments, she had talked me into coming over to her place and she promised to shield me from the Salvatores.

Caroline's idea of "shielding me" was to make me face them all head on. So there I was tagging along while she and Matt made googly eyes at one another and she secretly plotted a way for Elena and I to start hanging out again. I knew that was the plan, otherwise I wouldn't be "out" with two couples, leaving me as a fifth wheel, again.

No one else seemed to think this was strange, but I found it increasingly annoying to see Caroline sitting on Matt's lap and Stefan giving Elena encouraging looks, every time they thought no one was looking.

I had it in my right mind to call up my friends, but they were right in front of me and I was getting tired of this. I pressed my lips together thinking about who I could call, who would be the one to ease this suffering right now.

It was bad enough that I wasn't healing too well, but now—

"I'm going to the bathroom." I announced to four sets of deaf ears that were simultaneously wrapped into one another and the romantic dinner was unfolding. In the 'saftey' of the stale smoke-filled bathroom, it was dark and private enough for me to exhale.

I had to get to together and stop thinking about those lips and that kiss. I could still feel his cold hands surrounding my body, making me shiver at just the thought of him. In moments, I was dialing the number of someone that I had no business calling.

He probably wouldn't answer anyway, too pissed about how I'd turned him down.

"What's up?"

"Are you busy tonight?" I could hear my voice shake a little as though I'd cried. I hadn't, but I was close.

"I had plans but-"

"Drop them." I demanded, hanging up the phone before I could hear him reject me. Besides that, I just didn't know what I was doing anymore, but I wasn't going to let myself go this far with Damon. _So instead you use Tyler_ _again. _

Because Tyler was safe. It would never go farther than it already went. There was no danger because he was human. He did not kill for blood and wasn't the reason that I was alone in my craft. I exhaled deeply again, hoping this 'fun' night would just be canceled so I didn't have to pretend. _And you'd go home to Tyler when Damon is who you really want? _

Bursting out of the bathroom, I was glad when Elena approached me, really. Everyone was coupled up and I was dying out here. I needed someone to couple up with me, even if it was just my best friend.

"We're getting out of here. Going to a club if that's-"

"Perfect." I forced a smile, taking Elena's arm in mine. Somehow she'd manipulated the conversation from having a good time, to me being topless and dangerously close to Damon. Elena was off listing all of the reasons why she would be okay with talking about this, and that she wouldn't say anything to even Caroline, but I wasn't saying a word because there was nothing to tell. _Not yet. _

"If you need anything, just tell me." Elena led me into the club, which I hadn't realized was so close to where we were. There were huge crowds of people, crowds where I could get lost in and do whatever I wanted. _Like leave and go find him. _

I hadn't been there more than half an hour before I knew it was time to go. I was finishing up one last text when I felt a cold rush behind me. The Monster was in front of me, giving me a seductive grin and pulling me onto the dance floor with him, wrapping my body around his.

My eyes stayed glued to his, intoxicated by his bravery, by the fact that he would so very publically do this. We were so close to each other that I could feel his bones. I could feel parts of him swell and get closer to me. _Don't tease me. _

My lips were pressed together as I thought about how I would do this. How was I going to peel myself away from Damon now that he'd shown up like this? I broke the silence first.

"What are you doing here?"

"I came for you." I answered in all sincerity, all of the arrogance disappearing for a moment. "Stop avoiding me." He hissed in my ear as I felt myself reach under his shirt. I wanted him to kiss me so badly. I wanted to act on every feeling that I had, that was bubbling inside of me. It killed to suppress it.

"Why do you keep showing up? What do you want?" His kiss was the response, which pushed me over the edge. _I have to have him_.

"How long are we going to play this game … pretending that you hate me?"

"I do hate you. Don't do that again."

"I'd never hurt you." Damon promised. "I only want-"

"Don't to this here." I almost screamed, pulling myself away from him and moving a briskly as possible. Those words and his sincerity were too much for me. It scared me and I didn't trust it. Or him. _And not even yourself_.

I was out the door soon enough, but Damon was faster.

"Where you are going?"

"Away." I cursed my slowly healing, human body and my inability to run away this time. Suddenly, the parking lot was looking too far away. Me in a dress and stilettos was generally a bad idea on a good day anyway. I could see his smirking, condescending face watch me struggle from behind and try to get a look under my skirt.

"You can't walk home."

"Watch me." There were tears in my eyes at this point. It was taking everything out of me not to just let me take care of me. _Like he always does_.

"I can't watch you hurt yourself." Damon answered, scooping me into his arms and carrying me quite easily, even pausing to brush my hair off my face, while still holding me with the other arm. _Show off_.

In a matter of moments, we were in my car. Damon was back to playing his new role, my savior. I had to find out what was really going on and why he was so eager to help me.

"I can't be alone with you."

"I promise I won't kiss you again. I know how much it disgusted you last time." Damon commented, looking pissed off and even a little hurt.

"Good." I could do this. I would stay tight-lipped. I wouldn't move … I was too weak for this. "I can't do this." I whispered as he caught my gaze with his. I was all over him before Damon could react. I kissed him hurriedly, like someone would be there at any moment to ruin this again for me.

I could feel myself disrobing him and felt light pricks of coldness that made my heart beat faster and faster. Damon and I had sequestered ourselves in the backseat of my car as I felt his cold breath send chills down my side.

I could feel my heart beat so fast that I felt it in my head and all through every fiber in my body. I was scared, nervous because I wanted this so much.

Damon looked at me once again, pausing as though he was giving me a chance to change my mind. _Too late. _I ripped his shirt off in response as I felt him lay me down, carefully.

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><p>By now, we were both nude, him on top of me and there was no turning back. I held onto him so tightly now. I was terrified like I had never done this before. It felt like the first time.<p>

"Are you okay? Am I hurting you?"

"No." I kissed him lightly, feeling more relaxed. Damon hovered over me as I could feel him so close to entering me that it tickled. I couldn't even imagine what it would be like if we were one. I was drawn to the idea, constantly focused on it. And it was finally here. All he had to do was take the plunge and push.

Damon was so close too that it tickled and then it was over before it could even happen. Damon moved in lightning speed redressing himself and then running off, not even pausing once he said, "Stay here."

The only explanation was this was fate somehow stopping me from making a big mistake. _Don't move. Wait. _But I wasn't listening to that voice anymore. I pulled on my dress as quickly as I could and headed back to the club, walking as best as I could.

It was more painful than I could've imagined. Once I'd gotten to the entrance and gotten my phone back from Elena, I texted Tyler to tell him to meet me here instead. And when I walked in, that's when I saw it … Damon and another girl. Elena? How did she get there so fast? I hissed to myself. And when Tyler showed up, I didn't hesitate at all to dance as seductively as I could manage without looking slutty.

If I didn't, I'd start crying in front of everyone. After a while, it got stale and I wasn't even sure if Damon was aware of us or not.

"Ready?" Tyler asked as I nodded. He was eager, meaning this would be over soon.

On the car ride back, he tried to get me to talk to him, to tell him what had happened. I danced around the subject only interested in removing any thoughts of Damon Salvatore in mind. But even that was useless. Tyler ended up just taking me home and I spent the night feeling hopeless and restless.

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><p>(AN: Now you can start the flames ... -NL)

**As part of my **_shameless promotion … _**check out:**

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**A Shot of Lockwood, A Side of Bennett** (Vampire Diaries)

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	4. Far Too Much Beauty for this World

**Chapter Four: Far Too Much Beauty for this World**

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><p>(AN: I had to switch perspectives since Bonnie's started to get one-note for me … and Bella Swan reminiscent. I'm a sucker for reviews so tell me what's on your mind. I know how I want this to end, but I'm not sure how I'll get there but … if you're also into the Bonnie-Tyler pairing, I explain that more in _A Side of Lockwood, A Shot of Bennett_… One more thing: **Thanks so much for the support so far and especially to _The Puppeteer_, who gave me an insane amount of ideas that inspired me to make this more than just a "Two-shot." **Any suggestions or comments at all ... I **LOVE **to hear them. -NL)

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><p>Damon's POV:<p>

I'm not the kind of guy to back down and get scared and there are countless reasons that I should've done it. I've been wanting to penetrate her brick wall from the moment I saw how stubborn and prudish she was. It was a game to me, to see how I could break through even the most strong-willed girl. And virgins with their naïve and hollow dedications to God were my favorite. I loved to break them and make them like me. Scarred.

It would've been so easy to do that to Bonnie too. She was right under me, her legs positioned, her body hot and thirsty. I shouldn't have wasted so much damn time kissing her. I should've just fucked her and been done with it. And laughed about it later.

That was my plan, my plan to get her off my mind was to fuck her and realize that it wasn't that great. Or, at least compare her to Katherine who was the first to steal a piece of my heart.

That look on her face … it was that one moment when the look went from reluctant uncertainty to complete trust that struck a chord in me. I couldn't flip the switch. I'd been ignoring it like an itch all night when I pressed myself close enough that she could feel how much I wanted her.

Finally, I gave in and pulled away from her at the last moment. I wouldn't do this to her. I wouldn't be the one to break Bonnie like Katherine had done to me so many years ago. I was preparing myself for a slap, words of hate, anything to show that she felt something. Bonnie was stoney.

I got dressed and then saw the devil in pink herself, Katherine was here. I couldn't hesitate and had to see what she wanted and why she would risk everything to come back to Mystic Falls. I flipped the switch. It was the only way I could leave Bonnie stranded like that. I left her with no intentions of coming back, but still asked her to stay back.

"Don't tell me you've gotten soft." Katherine whispered, sizing me carefully. It sucked for her to have an all-access pass to our house and to have her break my jumbled thoughts.

"Not soft, just trying to figure out what the hell is your deal." I recited back as Katherine moved around the room sensually. I wasn't stupid. I knew she only came back to save her own self.

"That's my secret." She responded back. "But Damon, you're boring me with this. When will Stefan be here?"

Right for the heart every time. I lifted my eyebrows at her, trying to prove that I was cavalier, deciding it was time to take a walk. Katherine in town meant bad news, and with the last vamps here trying to kill my witch … well, let's say that I wasn't going to have _that_.

"Did I strike a chord?"

"Goodbye Katherine. Try not to steal anything." I called from behind knowing that Stefan would be home … now and on bitch watch.

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><p>Finding Bonnie Bennett was easier than taking my shirt off in the dark. She was predictable, stayed in large crowds and stood out as the drop of chocolate in a crowd of white. It was I who sat next to her at the Grill, closing her book when she pretended not to notice me.<p>

Bonnie wordlessly gathered her things and went to find another table.

"I can do this all day." I threatened, as she pressed her lips together into a pout, teasing me. How can someone that beautiful be so unaware?

"Fine. Meet me out back two minutes." Bonnie barely looked at me as I began to wonder if she was hurt by what _hadn't _happened last night.

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><p>Two minutes is nothing in vampire time, but I was temporarily on human time when every second felt like an hour. I was watching the clock like a little school girl hoping that the guy would just call her back. Luckily for me, Bonnie hadn't tried to run away this time.<p>

"What the hell do you want from me?"

"I must've gotten _into_ you last night." I smirked, unable to resist the urge to tease. I couldn't let her see … and my emotions were vacillating before being vulnerable and being the seductive predator I had evolved into. "How did it feel?"

"If you're going to be a dick, we can end this right now." Bonnie glared at me under a veil of hate. I did it just to get a rise out of her. She was 'stoic' to everyone else, but I could hear her heartbeat accelerate once my hands found hers. "What are you doing?"

"Apologizing." I uttered kissing her softly. I didn't want to scare her away again. "I'm an asshole and I know it. You're too good for me…"

"Stop following me around. You're making it hard…" Bonnie answered back, a more softened expression on her face. My lips kneaded hers powerfully until I felt her give in. Bonnie pushed me backwards into the wall behind us, collapsing over the intensity of us, and I could feel both of her legs on either side of me.

Her heart was pulsing so loudly that it became our rhythm. I wanted to disrobe her here and now, thrust my everything to her and hope that she wouldn't reject it, hope that she'd want more than that from me. Damn humanity. I should've just fucked her and walked away.

I could only hold back so much. My hands … I had to keep them busy before I tried to conquer her again.

They traced the outline of her body before they grew greedy and had to feel more of her. My hands, like a hungry traveler, were starving to touch her … there. Bonnie gasped in shock as I silently thanked her for wearing a dress.

I placed her feet to the ground, now on two knees, exploring her. Farther and farther down they went until they dangled from the ends of her ankles.

Our eyes locked just then and I was certain that not even Katherine had looked at me like that. I'd give anything to have that look forever. I'm weak to her.

I couldn't hold it in. I was about to tell her even though I would screw that up. I was an action guy. Stefan could manipulate the hell out of words. I could manipulate the hell out of her body. "Bonnie, I'm-"

The steady, monotonous sound of an overproduced hip-hop beat cut our sexual tension, distracting Bonnie as she frantically searched for her cell phone which had fallen out of one of the pockets of her baby doll dress. It droned on and on, 'You the best I ever had, best I ever had, best I ever had…' I would've laughed at the irony of the song, had it not interrupted an almost perfect moment.

"Hello." She picked it up urgently. "I'm fine." Bonnie snapped as I could hear a male voice on the other end. I tried not to look upset, but I was pissed off. Someone had stolen my one piece of Heaven. I stayed on my knees and reluctantly let her dress fall. The only indication of our encounter was the tiny pair of lace-rimmed panties that still clung to her ankles. "Can I call you back?"

I looked up at her and Bonnie sighed. I gave her one last kiss as I swept her back into my arms, sliding the undergarment lower and lower until it was free and in my hands. Then I tucked it into my back pocket like a souvenir, or like some pimple-faced eighties kid who spent his days watching other people have sex would do. I sighed. I didn't want to put her down. I didn't want this to end, but I let her go.

"What about my underwear?"

"You'll get them back next time." I promised as she pressed her lips together to hide a smile. Bonnie was just too beautiful for this world.

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><p>The only good thing about today ending was that tomorrow, I would wake up and do it all over again. Find Bonnie and break down yet another layer of her until I found what I wanted. I was up tonight thinking about what I'd say when I saw her. How I would tell her…<p>

"Poor lonely Damon." Katherine taunted me once she saw the drink in her hand.

"Cheers." I lifted up a glass after I had poured one and handed it to her.

"To what?"

"You."

"Me?" She looked flattered and drank it immediately. I had dosed it with vervain, but Katherine didn't seem fazed or even hurt by it.

"Bitch." I growled. Somehow, she'd outsmarted me again.

"I'm older, smarter, and faster than you …" She snarled. "And I was going to tell you something important, but since you just had to be so mean-"

"What is it?" He played along.

"Your little witch is going to die." Katherine shot back as Damon played it cool, but still assembled the entire crew—Stefan, Elena, Alaric, and Caroline. For now, the Tyler-werewolf crisis would have to wait. No one was going to kill Bonnie while he was around.

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><p><strong>Read. Review. :) <strong>


	5. The Devil You Know

Chapter Five: The Devil You Know

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><p>(AN: A special thanks to those who reviewed the last chapter-lyssa0207, EpicStelena, Reighn Venhem 33704, and randomlittleme. I haven't written the next chapter yet, so if you have some suggestions or secret wishes ... including more Bamon action, let me know! Also, if you have any ideas for **A Side of Lockwood, A Side of Bennett**, I _really _need help. Luv and reviews. -NL)

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><p>Passion. Desire. Lust. This is the devil's work, the devil who wants to corrupt you and make you stray from what you know is right. Damon Salvatore is my devil in the flesh and he's winning. My carnal desires keep my body hot, keep me awake at night. And during the day I think about what it would be like to hold his hand in front of everyone, to let him kiss me tenderly like old people do who've been married forever. I wonder what it would be like if he could see me …<p>

I had to stop it. This was all so wrong. Think about it. He just wanted to corrupt me.

The first two times, he had kissed me. Then, I grew strong but then he'd overpowered me. I'd lost my panties twice and still wished for him to steal them away again. There was no justification for that. Here I was now, at my Grams's grave, trying to make sense of it all. Why was I so weak to him?

He was the reason she was dead, and countless others. Someone that had no regard for human life had to be stopped, man or beast. _Or Monster? Do you really think you can kill him? _

"I'd have to." Was my response to myself as I placed the flowers on the grave and got ready to go. I'd already been here for over an hour. I turned back reluctantly; feeling like Grams would know what to do. She always gave good advice.

I sighed. My options were to reveal everything to Elena or Caroline while risking Stefan overhearing, go crawling back to Tyler or … I could always go to Damon and get it over with right now. Stake him and be done.

I was on my way to figuring it out when I saw Tyler. I ducked behind one of the huge gravestones, more like statues that littered the red-stained grass. There were fall leaves everywhere, loud enough to indicate someone else was there, but also cushiony enough to break my fall.

I waited until Tyler was gone.

Since when was he visiting his dad's grave? I had suggested to him before as some way of getting closure but … I was really feeling terrible right now. I should've been there for Tyler. I knew what it was like. I promised myself that he was next on my list, then I'd stake Damon.

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><p>Deceptive people find it easy to deceive. I struggled with it the entire way through and started to wonder if he would even show up. Out of everyone in the group, I wasn't the trap-setter. He was.<p>

"Bonnie." A deep voice in my ear made my entire body shake and I was sure that there was a mini-earthquake happening inside of me. Damon hadn't even touched me and already I was acting like we'd made love for hours. This had to stop. "To what do I owe the honor?"

"I want my panties back." I pouted trying not to think about how his lips burned like acid. The acid felt so strong that it was good. Heavier than desire I tried not to look at him. I would stake him, watch him die, and then leave. Simple.

"I can arrange that." Damon explained. "So you and the Lockwood kid?"

I hissed at him. How did he know? "You've been spying?"

"I didn't bring it up last time but when I saw your car in his yard and heard the noises-"

"You're a liar." I looked at him with such conviction that no one would've known it was true. If he'd stayed the entire time, he would've known that I couldn't do it. I had my legs wrapped around him, but we didn't have sex. We wouldn't have sex again. And it was because of Damon.

"So you go to him to get your fix and then flaunt it in my face?"

"Like you care." I glared at him, feeling the anger rise in me. Perfect, that's what I wanted… a reason to kill him. I had to make him angry somehow and then thought about the one thing that I knew about Damon, the one thing that drove him mad. His ex. "Some people find it hard to let go of the past … but you're still hung up on Katherine." Damon kept staring at me, making this more difficult. "How can you lust after someone for over 100 years?"

"It's not lust. It's love … I _loved _her, but some people are too scared to let it go that far."

"You don't know what you're talking about. You don't know anything about me and Tyler and what the hell I've been through." My voice darkened and my voice cracked. What the hell? Now was not the time to lose it. _You want to be honest with him and you know it_.

"Tell me about it."

"What?" I'd been expecting a wisecrack about how sucky my sex life would be with Tyler vs. Damon or some other blow to my ego. He seemed to want to know more about me, to understand me.

"I want to know everything about you."

I was searching for words, choking on them when my phone started ringing. I'd been embarrassed by the Drake song yesterday that I'd changed it to that Mariah and Nicki Minaj song—it was free—and looked to see that it was Tyler calling again.

"Hey, what's up?"

"You coming over again today?" He questioned as I tried not to say too much in front of Damon.

"Can I call you back?"

"No … I have to say this." He sighed. "I should've been there for you Bonnie when you told me you were pregnant. I never should've listened to my stupid mom and held your hand when you got the ab-"

I hung up the phone abruptly. That abortion was something that I would never forgive myself for, something that I had tried to hide from even my parents. Besides Tyler, only my Grams knew but I didn't tell anyone while I was actually pregnant. Young and scared, I'd gotten some back alley abortion done and had done some permanent damage to myself in the process.

No babies, ever. Or practically never. Whatever.

All of those memories came back and I felt like I was fifteen, pregnant, and confused again. There was no way I could hold this back. I tried to run back to my car before Damon could see but he was on me like a hawk, holding me as my tear ducts moved into overdrive, drowning every trace of makeup. I almost thought they'd wash away my skin and each tear burned like alcohol.

Damon held me, unwavering, supporting me when I couldn't stand it anymore, when all I could do was drop to my knees and feel bad about everything that I'd done wrong. I wasn't sure how long he'd held me and had just started noticing that he was whispering things to me, beautiful words about how I would get through this, he'd help me … and I vaguely thought I heard him say that he loved me.

"Damon?" I squinted at him, my contacts feeling dry, barely still hooked on my eyes. "What did you just say?"

"I love you too much to watch you hurt like this. Please." So I hadn't imagined it. I wiped my face and looked at him accusingly. How could he say that to me? Why? Didn't he know that I was going to kill him today?

When I was off to run away, as I seemed to do each time to get away from feeling too much for Damon, I felt the weight of a boulder crush into me. There was a ton of commotion and then I realized that I was being attacked by them. Vampires.

"I'll help you." Damon promised as I tried to take them on my own. He was there, like he said he'd be when I had almost been stabbed by one of them. I knew I could wipe them out with one massive migraine, but I had to be calm, collected and concentrate.

Damon's confession left me on edge. We fought back to back until I realized that I trusted him against my own will. I wiped out the rest of the vamps, but not before Damon took a stake right below his heart. With the others weakened, I staked every last one that lay on the ground.

And there he was, the one that I'd come to kill and he was dying. I could've so easily ended it for him, but I was pulling the wood from his body before I could think.

However wounded I was, Damon was hurting more.

"Why aren't you healing?"

"I'm fine." Damon announced confidently. "It's a scratch."

"You're hurt. I have to get you out of here."

"Chill. I'll get us out." Damon mumbled, holding me with both hands as he blasted us back to the Salvatore home using his vampire speed. I almost believed that the asshole had made it out safely again until I saw that he was still bleeding and not healing.

"What's wrong? You're still…"

"It's the vervain." A replica of Elena peered into the room. I now knew better. It was Katherine.

"So … he's dying then?" Her look was confirmation enough as I tried to hold it in, but I couldn't not cry because I loved him still. I looked to her to see if there was anyway to save him. Anyway at all and the smirk on her face suggested it was possible but something that would be dangerous, and possibly kill us both.

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><p>(AN: Could _this _be Bonnie's last breath? I have a **poll going** for fun to see who you guys want to be **Bonnie's killer.** Btw… thanks for all of the review so far. I love them and they keep me writing this. -NL )


	6. Sealed

Chapter Six: Sealed

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><p>(AN: A special thanks to those who reviewed the last chapter-ever-joliene, DamonBonnie Salvatore, EpicStelena, and Sara. I hope you're not confused anyone once you read this one. Also, if you have any ideas for **A Side of Lockwood, A Side of Bennett**, I _really _need help. The next chapter might be from Damon's perspective. Luv and reviews. -NL)

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><p>Red. Lust. Blood. Death. Damon was bleeding all over me. I was still bleeding. He was going to die, just like I'd said I wanted him to. <em>You got your wish. <em>

"Move this out of the way!" I demanded immediately, unable to think about anything apart from saving him. I didn't know how it was possible and I couldn't let my thoughts get in the way of this. I don't want him dead. I want him alive.

But, my powers only worked to heal and save the living and Damon was, well … dead.

"Ooh. Some voodoo magic." Katherine hissed in response, but she quickly cleared everything before I could blink. I checked to see that Damon was still breathing or … whatever vampires did.

"Do you know of a way … a way that I can save him?" Damon was flat on his back now, looking pale and dead … _dead_, dead.

"He's better off." The brunette answered back slyly as if this were a stranger and not someone that she had once "loved."

"You're right, but I don't care." My voice was trembling now. I was moving too slowly and didn't have enough time to think. I was starting to lose my breath, tears streamed out of my eyes and I was starting to lose control. My emotions were making it worse.

"Oh, please with the theatrics." Katherine started. "We're vampires. Don't you think that everything that has to do with us is sealed with blood?"

I didn't know exactly what she meant, but I didn't have time to overanalyze. I found the sharpest thing that I could and spilled my blood into his mouth hoping that it had some sort of magic powers.

It didn't.

I started chanting a spell that I never said before, never even thought I knew and didn't pay any mind to Katherine until she handed me a glass of blood.

"It's his." She explained as I noticed that she'd sliced his wrist too. "You have to drink simultaneously before saying that spell." Katherine explained. "But it doesn't always work. If the-"

I didn't hear a word she said after this. I could only hear that there was a way to save him somehow. When I was emotional like this, I couldn't think straight. I was sipping his blood while letting my blood drip into his mouth. I didn't even taste the salty disgusting taste of blood. All I tasted was the possibility of me saving his life. I didn't think about the fact that Katherine could kill me right now and I'd come back as one of them.

I repeated the words that I'd said before. _Bring him back to me_.

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><p>Sometimes no matter how much you want something, it doesn't happen. And you have to deal with the broken pieces.<p>

Everything in the room was starting to slow down and Katherine's idea seemed more like a trick than anything else. I shouldn't have listened. I should've gotten Stefan, someone who would _know_ what to do.

It was too late now.

Damon was dead and his blood was on my hands. I stared at him, shaking and too cold to even cry anymore. His shirt was littered with remnants of my tears and I was too scared to let myself feel anything.

I was scared because of the guilt, the pain, and …

It didn't matter. The last thing I could do was to reach down and close his eyes and wait for his body to start decomposing, wait for the years of cheated life to show his true age.

My fingertips touched the tops of his lifeless eyes, closing them as I waited. I waited until they flew open all on their own and that sinister smile that I hated so much appeared. He was alive.

Damon chuckled.

"You asshole!" I hit him as hard as I could with my hands which only made him laugh harder and harder. "I thought you were dead."

"I was." Damon answered dragging me closer to him, his hand now firmly on the side of my face. "I _am_."

"I should get going," was my response. My breathing had returned to normal and I was now feeling everything that I had numbed out from earlier, including the terrible pain from the blows that I had taken earlier. I moved so that he could no longer touch me, where it was safe.

"Stay." Damon commanded, sitting up and looking right through me. It was chilling when he gave me that look. I tried to look away, but I couldn't. Damon could read me too well and knew that I was hurting. He knew and he touched the spot where I'd taken the blow.

Everything around us disappeared, inclusive of Katherine, and Damon was leading me to the one place where I'd been wanting to go, but had never been before. His room.

He moved swiftly, working to sew up the gash as I wanted to ask him where he'd learned all of this, to care for people. I was too scared to say anything, but I did my best to cover up my scars from the fire.

"I should've gotten there sooner." Damon commented, noticing everything that I did. "If you had burned to death it would've killed me."

"Why did you say that you love me?" I asked. Out of all of the things I could've said, this is what came out. I didn't understand why I could tell Tyler everything about me but I couldn't even have a normal conversation with Damon.

"Isn't it obvious? Bonnie I feel … _everything _when I'm around you, like I'm alive again. I know I'm nothing but a Monster to you…" Damon's voice trailed off as he looked me deep in the eyes saying, 'You'll forget everything that happened today. Then you'll go home.'

I felt the pull to do what he said, but I didn't have to.

"You can't compel me." I whispered, surprised. It had to have had something to do with the blood thing I'd just done … _sealing _is what Katherine had called it.

"Then just pretend like I can. I'll get you something clean to wear and then you can go home. Forget this day." Damon finished wrapping my wound, leaving the room for a moment and reappearing with new clothes. "These belong to Katherine, but it's all I have."

"I'm tired of pretending."

"I'll get you your undies back too."

"Don't you hear me?" I was nearly shouting now. "I'm tired of pretending and holding back."

"Then don't." Damon was inches from me, daring me to make a move. This was my last chance. I knew—I pulled him in with my tongue, kissing him hard. It'd been too long.

He kissed me back softly, patiently, our bodies moving naturally towards one another. All of my walls were down now. I had no reason to hate him, to not trust him. He'd saved me twice.

Damon paused for a moment, like he did last time, to give me an opportunity to change my mind, but I wouldn't. I pushed all of my doubts away and dove into him and hoped that he wouldn't let me fall. I could feel his cold lips all over me, him pushing my hair to the side and kissing me passionately.

There was nothing separating us at this point. Skin to skin.

Damon released every inhibition I had, making love to me in a way that I never knew possible. I could feel every part of his body touching mine, his knee caps being the only thing that kept me from falling over in weakness, my back pressed against his chest.

I was too free to suppress it. Everything I was feeling, I yelled out in pleasure. I felt him pulsating through me so fervently to the point where it almost burned. I never wanted him to stop. I'd let him conquer me every time if it felt this good.

It was over sooner than I wanted and I knew that we'd never see each other again in the same way.

I looked down, embarrassed that this had even happened. I'd had sex with Damon Salvatore.

Me, Bonnie Bennett.

"Now you can add me to the list." I joked, the first to break the silence. We had been holding each other, spooning in silence until that point.

"You **are** the list. There's no one else. No one that can compare." Damon breathed, his sweet breath drawing me closer. I had to kiss him again. I kissed him hard and long.

"Liar." I teased back, nestling closer to him.

"So what are we now?"

"Are you proposing something?"

"I'll be your bitch if you want, let you have your way with me." Damon promised, holding onto my hand and then kissing it. "Or you can admit that you love me. Finally."

"We don't know anything about each other."

"Then let me know you. Let me love you without you pushing me away." Damon begged. I just nodded, nestling closer to him. His lips brushed mine, strong like he was my life force and I wasn't going to say no or deny him.

Damon was on top of me this time, chest to chest as I pressed him even closer to me, pulling him with my legs wrapped on either side. I couldn't wait. I knew I was going to be screaming his name again at any second. Any moment.

"Hey Damon, where's Katherine?" Stefan pounded into the room as Damon moved just enough so that he could see me. I pulled the covers over my face just a little too late.

"Don't you knock?" He answered his brother cavalierly, but Stefan already saw. Damon jumped out of the bed, closing the door and then locking it. I peered over the covers when it was safe, catching a glimpse of him beautiful and naked. _Wow, that was in me? Who knew Damon Salvatore was good-looking and packing_?

"Are you through gawking at me?"

"Sorry." I blushed looking away. "What are you going to tell him?"

"He didn't see anything." Damon brushed it off.

"I should go."

"You can stay. Whichever room you want, is yours."

"I like this one." I smiled, can't believing how easy this was. I had been making it harder on myself for fighting for no reason at all except fear.

"You're welcome here anytime." He joked. "Come on." Damon carried me in his arms taking me to the bathroom where he helped to clean off the rest of the dried blood. I pulled on the outfit he'd gotten from Katherine, a short dress with a mix of black lace—so _not _my style—and waited.

"My panties?" I wondered, admiring myself in the bathroom mirror. Maybe it wasn't my style, but it looked good on.

"Oh. I'm keeping those." He explained. "It works better when there's nothing underneath. It makes it easier…." He started to lift up the ends of my dress until there was nothing but air.

"I have to go." I whispered, pulling it down quickly, not liking how flat my butt looked. "You might want to put some clothes on." I suggested, doing everything I could to sneak out the back so no one would see me. I remembered a little too late that my car wasn't here, and helped myself to Damon's car. He'd get it back later.

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><p>Inadvertently, I was back at home about an hour or so later. Home and it was too early. I hadn't come been here before eight in months. He would be there and awake and in this dress … I'd thought about this all too late and I was in the living room. And there he was waiting for me with that half-drunk look upon his face. I had one more battle to fight before the day was over.<p>

"Hey dad." I mumbled, ready to run up to my room and put on something big, unattractive, and holely.

"Wow. You look beautiful princess."If it had been a normal dad like Mr. Gilbert or Mr. Forbes, I would've been smiling. I could read between the lines and he wanted me, I could tell. I wished my real mom and dad had been there to take care of me and that my uncle hadn't inherited the spot of my 'father.'

"I'm going upstairs to change."

"Count me in." He stood up off the couch suddenly, licking his lips. I fruitless tried to run for it, but he was faster than he looked. Pretty fast for a man in his thirties anyway.

My hands were pressed together like they were in cuffs, raised high over my head. And he was reaching, reaching for panties that weren't there. "Ahhh! Please. Don't!" I screamed. My emotions were out of control. I had to calm it down, get out of here. _Use your powers. _

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><p>AN: Maybe it's her dad that kills her? Could this be the end of Bonnie ... maybe. Do you guys want it to end or do you want more? Check out my poll on this story as well. -NL


	7. Paradigm Shift

**Chapter Seven: Paradigm Shift**

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><p>(AN: Don't forget to review. -NL)

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><p><strong>Damon's POV<strong>

"Don't say it baby bro." I started once Bonnie had left and I'd gotten dressed. She took off with my car too. Cute and clever.

"What was Bonnie Bennett doing in your bed? Did you _compel _her to sleep with you?" Stefan wondered, a look of amusement on his face.

"Who said I had to use my vampire powers? I do have charm." I poured myself a shot of liquor.

"So you admit it?" Stefan smiled.

"I'm not admitting anything." I answered coolly. I hadn't even had time to process it myself, and Stefan was already wanting answers. Were we freaking girls or something? I didn't want to talk about my feelings and I didn't want to diminish Bonnie down to a good lay because she was more than that.

Or could be. If she would just open up to me… I took the shot.

"Maybe I should just ask Elena if she knows anything."

"You're not very convincing Stefan. You can't manipulate me. Come on. I'm the **King** of getting people to do what I want them to."

"So how long have you loved her?" Stefan asked as poured myself another shot. Tonight was not the night that I wanted to feel buzzed or out of it. I wanted to remember everything, to commit every moment with Bonnie to memory.

Engrain it into my mind, my _skin_ forever.

"Now you're reaching." I took the next shot. "But I'm glad you're here … and what I'm about to say actually does pertain to Bonnie." I paused. "The vampires that tried to kill her before are back and I'm sure that they'll keep bringing in more reinforcements unless we stop them."

"Why do you care?"

"The only thing more powerful than us is a witch. If we lose her, we'll be vulnerable. Self-preservation baby bro." I explained smoothly, neglecting to add that I'd be willing to stake myself if Bonnie was taken away from me. "Oh, you might want to call up the Scooby Gang. We've got some planning to do to protect her." I finished as Stefan just gave me a smile.

"I think she could be good for you, you know … maybe some of that humanity will rub off."

"You've got a wild imagination." I answered, but stuck to my story of being as vague as possible. Who I had in my bedroom was my business. And who I loved was my business too. Even though I promised myself never to allow myself to feel this way again.

Nothing good came out of Damon Salvatore in love.

But Bonnie Bennett was something that I'd never encountered in my entire century and a half of life. I could see her changing me, like Stefan said, but I welcomed it.

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><p>Stefan rounded up the peanut gallery and I debriefed them on the fact that Bonnie had almost gotten killed today. Me too. And that's when Stefan got the brilliant idea to have us all take shifts guarding her. Starting with me.<p>

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><p>Now, if you know anything about me, which you probably don't … or vampires in general, is that we always have our eyes on something. I'd been protecting Bonnie for months now, making sure that nothing harmed her again.<p>

Only now, if Stefan or that annoying Caroline caught me watching Bonnie, no explanation would be needed. I stepped away from the group to go and see what she was up to, and to get my car back. I was ready for the cat and mouse game, knowing that she would never invite me in.

I stopped myself from knocking on the door because I heard her screams. And these were screams of terror.

But I was helpless to stop her. The only thing I could do was break open the windows, unhinge the door but I still couldn't protect her. Damn.

I had to think of something … fast but, the screams stopped. I watched from the outside as Bonnie pushed a large man away from her, her … _dad _and ran up the stairs. By the way he wasn't moving or breathing, I was guessing that he was dead.

I paced back and forth before deciding to call Elena and telling her to get her ass over here. Tyler beat her there. I watched as he walked into the door-less house, carefully, helping Bonnie out. She looked distraught.

I could've sworn that she saw me, felt my presence even though it was way too dark, but she didn't acknowledge me at all. She was with Tyler.

I was even desperate enough to call her name, but she just looked back at me and didn't mutter a word. I was pissed. I felt my eyes get this little sting and my emotions well up inside of me.

Anger, I could handle but hurt? Who needed it?

I didn't. If Bonnie wanted to play this game after what we'd just _done_, then I would do it and beat her at it. I knew just the way to get to her—to hurt someone—and since Elena was out of the picture for obvious reasons, I found someone else who went to her school.

As my teeth sunk into the sides of her neck, it felt good. It felt like revenge. It felt like I didn't give a damn about Bonnie Bennett. I flipped the switch and that was it. Damon Salvatore does not love.

But inadvertently I knew that my actions were just another cry for help, some sophomoric way of crying out for help. I smelled a sweet mix of Red Jeans and confidence that could only come from one woman. Katherine. She wasn't Bonnie, but she would do.

"What do you want?"

"I have a proposition for you." Katherine began as I half-listened. It was difficult to concentrate once Bonnie walked into the room. Breathtaking.

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><p>Bonnie. Her scent surrounded me instantaneously. She's more amazing that anything I've seen alive. Somehow, she'd managed to put herself together so that scene from earlier today seemed imagined.<p>

I watched every curve of her body move against the blue-black jeans she wore along with the halter that she wore with no jacket, unusual for someone like her, but she was drawing me in. I couldn't wait to have another taste of her, if she'd let me.

While Katherine paused to smile at me I nodded and walked off not agreeing to, or _not _agreeing to help her. Rather, I was on a new mission. I knew that Patel girl would bring her here and even though I didn't mean to kill her, at least not completely, it was worth it to see Bonnie this way. I took the drink I'd ordered with me.

"It was you." Bonnie started accusingly.

"Who, _me_?" I pretended to be shocked, feeling the chemistry between us heat up. Something had changed between us and it was controlling me, not allowing me to resist her.

"I should stake you."

"Go ahead." I put down my glass and opened out my palms arrogantly.

"Meet me out back." Bonnie answered quickly, looking down as a glimmer of her shyness rang through. I couldn't wait and followed her, letting the door close behind us without a single concern. I was waiting for the lecture, the terrible migraine, to watch her get out of control, which I loved.

"What is it witch?"

"I think I killed someone today." My switch went to auto-on and I was once again emotionally involved.

"The man that I saw … your da-"

"I need you to help me hide the body." Bonnie demanded as I looked at her in shock.

"You're …. Kidding, right?"

"No." Bonnie locked her eyes onto mine. "You're going to help me." A shimmer of the vulnerable girl that I'd seen earlier popped up. "I-I don't know how to explain what happened. I've never-"

"Shh." I started, ready to hug her again.

"No. You don't understand. If they find out that I killed them, they'll want to know why and then everyone will know that … he molested me and I sat there and let him do it."

"Bonnie, you don't think-"

"Today, I finally stood up for myself. All those years. All those things me made me do…" Bonnie stopped talking for a moment and all I could hear was the sound of her heart beating. "It's got to die with him. We take this to the grave."

"Ironic." Was my response as I tried to hold back my anger. "But I can't help you." I pulled away from Bonnie suddenly, feeling myself lose control like I had with Katherine only I'd chosen Bonnie. I had let myself start to feel things. I'd listened to her when she talked for once.

"You have to." Bonnie demanded as I caught her eye. No.

"Why did you leave with Lockwood? I was right there. You had to have seen me."

"Why did you leave me in the car that day? What was so important that you'd run away?" She asked backed, looking stronger and more determined than I'd ever seen. I couldn't answer that. I couldn't admit that I, Damon Salvatore, was afraid and that I'd used the opportuness of seeing Katherine as an excuse. I was more breakable than I'd seen. All vampires are. We hurt for lifetimes, centuries. We love for eternity. We never _really _'get over it.'

I wouldn't answer that question.

"Nothing's more important than you." I reassured her. "Now, let me call up Stefan and everyone … we'll figure this thing out.

"No." She touched my hand, which made me feel alive. I swore for that moment, I had a heart and it had just skipped a beat. My lips brushed hers in anticipation of a repeat of earlier. Blood was fresh on my breath and Bonnie was still kissing me.

This, I'd never imagined. I had her cornered now, against the wall when she turned her head. "No Damon." I should've known better than to try and seduce her. It was she who controlled me.

"You're _going _to help me move the body. Make it look like an accident. Make it so no one ever finds him. I don't care. Get rid of it." She repeated with enough conviction that I felt like I had to help her. I wanted to. If Bonnie wanted this, I wouldn't deny her.

"Okay." I agreed, knowing this was only the least of our problems. Katherine was in town, always a bad sign, my instincts were telling me that Bonnie was still on the hit list, and wait a minute… did Bonnie just, _compel _me?

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><p>(AN: I think I'm going into hiatus on this one since no one is reading anymore. Unfortunate, but I'll probably keep writing and just not post until there's enough interest—i.e. REVIEWS. If you want more, speak up since I'm ready to drop this story. –NL)


	8. All Yellow

**Chapter Eight: All Yellow**

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><p>(AN: Wow and thanks to all the reviews. I really didn't think anyone was reading but me and if you don't understand the story, that's too bad but I like the way I've been starting the chapters off. I do need some suggestions because around this chapter eight/nine is where I usually get writer's block. So throw me your wildest idea and it might end up in the story. This chapter's been written for about 2-3 months now. Sorry for the late update. Luv. –NL)

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><p>Yellow was supposed to be the color of the sun, something that helped bring light and life. It was the color of smiles on a hot, summer day, the color of bananas in a vanilla fudge sundae. And now … it was the color of my uncle's shirt, the last one that he would ever wear, that clung to his skin, the same skin that would've been crushing me now if I hadn't done it.<p>

When I initially felt his fat, greasy hand clutching my inner thigh, I fell into old habits, ready to scream, cry, and fight. And I did. I felt his hands over my boobs and I knew that it was happening again. Everything that I'd been working to get over, to build these last five years… he was going to take that away.

And I wouldn't be able to do anything, to say anything. My friends would remain ignorant to the inner workings of the Bennett household. I didn't want this. I never asked for it. My uncle pressed his chapped lips against mine, almost suffocating me. My clothes were torn now and my throat was broken from screaming. He was about to do it. _Fight back Bonnie. _

That's when I felt the tables turn. Everything that he was feeling, I used it. I used it in a way that I never knew possible and in the end it was his own heat, his own lust that burned him from the inside. I screamed, pushing him away with my thoughts, and running up the stairs.

I stood looking at him for a while, too long just waiting for him to get up, waiting for the moment that he would get one of those _Scream _movie moments and come back to life to finish the job, to finishing stuffing himself inside of me like the filling inside one of those Twinkies or cream puffs.

Then, after a while, I realized that he wasn't going to move. I acted on instinct, dialing Tyler Lockwood up, which was a mistake, that which I now realize.

By the time he made it over, I'd touched him, nudged him with a foot, still as afraid of him in mid-death as I had been during his life.

"I-I think I killed him." I whispered to Tyler, who allowed me to sink my face into his chiseled chest, strong enough to take all of my body weight and too into me to notice, notice the real issue at hand. _Good job killer. _

Tyler led me out of the house, not understanding what had happened, and not even wanting to admit that when he'd touched my uncle's neck, he felt nothing. No life, no breath. _Only death_.

I couldn't even think about the fact that I'd been waiting for the day when he'd be at my feet, when I'd be the powerful one.

"Please get me out of here."

"What happened?" Tyler asked faintly. I felt myself stumbling over words, stuttering, afraid that his opinion of me would change. Afraid of jail … and everything. I was always so afraid.

Tyler walked me out of my door-less house, ripped away by the guy who'd made me think for a little bit that I could be carefree. I could never let my guard down again.

He was waiting outside of the house, by his car, looking really … human and genuinely relieved that I was okay.

"Bonnie." He whispered faintly, but I wasn't in the mood for that right now. I couldn't explain this thing to him and he'd want to know. I just couldn't be bothered.

"Where to?" Tyler asked once we'd made it to his car and I was safely away from Damon.

"Your house." I suggested, glancing at the rearview mirror to see that Damon was gone, that quickly.

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><p>There was so much confusion going on in my head and at this point, Tyler wasn't helping. I had to get out of here, make plans. I didn't know much about death, except it was painful losing someone. I did know that bodies, like everything else, broke down.<p>

I did know that my uncle's two hundred pounds was more than I could physically move and that I was too afraid to use my powers.

"Maybe we should just call 911-"

"No." I snapped. I wanted to tell Tyler it was a stupid idea, but he wouldn't get it. I hadn't explained it to him and I didn't want to.

"Bonnie, tell me what's wrong."

"He attacked me okay!" I yelled, fed up with the questions and talking over this. "He was going to rape me, again-"

"But I thought … I didn't know…." I could see Tyler's expression soften. He was falling for me even more and I had to stop this. I needed someone to go and make the situation disappear. I didn't need Tyler to be chasing after me like some—

"You'll be okay." He promised, hugging me was tightly as I would let him. "Caroline's coming soon."

"Good." I nodded. We sat in silence for a while until I finally asked him to say something, anything but mention the abuse, but Tyler sucked at this too until he got a text.

"This girl from our class was found mulled."

"What?" I inquired.

"Yeah. Caroline just texted me. That's the hold-up."

"I know who did it." I admitted, biting my lip and it was totally my fault.

"Don't worry about it." He offered. "Now can I just call up the cops to-"

"No. You're going to forget this night ever happened. Go out and have fun with Matt or whomever. Just forget." I demanded, apparently more forcefully than I thought. Tyler nodded, taking a few steps backward and not bother to say goodbye. I exhaled for a moment, glad it was over and went to search for the Monster. This reeked of his dirty work and I needed a distraction from my uncle who, if he wasn't dead then, he was definitely gone now.

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><p>You have to work with what you have and I had whatever Halloween costume one of Tyler's bed buddies had left over, which happened to be all black laced-out and tighter than I'd wanted. It would have to do.<p>

"If you had just staked him Bonnie, none of this would have ever happened." I said to myself before heading out to the place where I knew I'd see him.

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><p>I saw him with Katherine, but this time I genuinely did not care. I only had three words that I wanted to say to him right now.<p>

"It was you." I accused.

"Who me?" Damon gave me a bashful look, pretending like everything that had just happened during the last ten hours was null and void. I could play cool too.

"I should stake you." Even as I said the words I knew they were all lies, lies. I could smell the blood and him and even then, I still wanted him here, alive. With me.

"Go ahead." He challenged.

"Meet me out back." I answered quickly, losing my confidence for a moment. It was hard not to, considering, and I'd had enough of this game. The real reason that I was here had nothing to do with the girl he'd just killed, 'Do it well Patel,' it had to do with my growing guilt. My need to get rid of the evidence, and the fact that I was semi-okay with the fact that I'd left him there, the worst thought of all.

"What is it witch?" Damon wondered, walking so closely behind me that it gave me two reactions, one was the memory of the magic we'd had earlier and the second was of my uncle pressed against me. I pulled away from him casually.

"I think I killed someone today and I need you to help me hide the body." I didn't have time for details. I told him as much as he needed to know, remembering that he'd been there and heard what had happened.

"You're …. Kidding, right?"Not the response that I'd been wanting.

"No." I locked eyes with Damon. "You're going to help me." I demanded this time, falling apart for a moment, near tears and Damon was there, again to console me. _Get a grip Bon. _

But I didn't. Not soon enough. I told Damon all too much and he still turned on me. Cold, he didn't want to help me.

"You have to." I explained.

"Why did you leave with Lockwood? I was right there. You had to have seen me."

"Why did you leave me in the car that day? What was so important that you'd run away?" He wouldn't answer that question and I knew it.

There was obviously only one way to get to a vampire—well, two; one was blood and the other was lust. I felt myself turn into someone that I didn't know. I was saying things, doing things and kissing Damon Salvatore who had blood fresh on his breath.

I could taste it and it made me want him even more, but I stopped it before anything could happen. I couldn't … not so soon after …

"You're _going _to help me move the body. Make it look like an accident. Make it so no one ever finds him. I don't care. Get rid of it." I was serious this time. With everything in me, this was what I wanted.

Damon, to my surprise agreed and left to complete the job. I, to my dismay, was left with Katherine who'd witnessed it all.

"How's it feel?"

"What?" I eyed her suspiciously.

"Your first kill."

"Good." I admitted absentmindedly, until she smiled and I remembered what I'd told her. "That's not what I meant."

"Of course not. Better watch out Bonnie Bennett … you might become even more evil than I am." She threatened. I didn't respond back, but just stood there for a while thinking.

All of this started when I'd decided to ignore all of my judgment and go for Damon. And that ritual that Katherine had us do … I had to find out what it was. Until then, I'd have to play along so he wouldn't suspect anything.

And get someone to help me figure this all out.

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><p>(AN: Okay, 2 Author's Notes is a little excessive, but this story is dying. Should I make Bonnie evil? Should she be with Tyler? Can Damon ever really have a functional relationship …. Naw to that one. Ideas _please_. I can rant on, but I want this to have some purpose. –NL)


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